Golf Confessions

The New Swing

I have decided that my swing is the problem.

Not my aim.

Not my grip.

Not my fitness.

Not the fact that I spend half the round trying to remember which club I’m holding.

My swing.

So this week I decided to fix it.

I watched three YouTube videos.

This was a mistake.

The first video told me I was taking the club back incorrectly.

The second said my hips weren’t rotating properly.

The third said I was probably suffering from an “early extension.”

I had no idea what early extension was, but it sounded serious.

I now have six new swing thoughts.

Keep my head still.

Rotate my hips.

Keep my left arm straight.

Don’t grip too tightly.

Transfer my weight.

Don’t swing too hard.

I stood over my first tee shot and tried to remember all six.

By the time I had finished thinking about them, the group behind us had started looking impatient.

I swung.

The ball went approximately 40 metres sideways.

I decided the swing needed more work.

On the second hole, I tried to simplify things.

Just one swing thought.

Smooth.

I hit the ball beautifully.

Unfortunately, I was aiming at the wrong fairway.

On the third hole I decided to stop thinking altogether.

This worked surprisingly well.

I hit the best drive I’d hit all morning.

Then I spent five minutes wondering why it worked.

Which ruined the next shot.

By the sixth hole, I had developed a new technique.

I would stand over the ball, take one practice swing and then immediately hit it before my brain had time to interfere.

This was brilliant.

For about 20 minutes.

Then I topped one.

Then I shanked one.

Then I hit one so far left that I briefly considered joining the people playing on the next hole.

My playing partner asked, “What are you trying to do with your swing?”

I said, “I’m working on consistency.”

He looked at my scorecard.

Then he looked at me.

“Maybe work on something else.”

Fair point.

By the 15th hole I had completely abandoned the new swing.

I went back to my old swing.

The ugly one.

The one I’ve been using for 20 years.

The one that has absolutely no business producing a good golf shot.

I hit the ball straight down the middle.

Perfect strike.

Perfect trajectory.

Perfect distance.

I stood there in disbelief.

My playing partner said, “There you go.”

I nodded knowingly.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’ve finally got it.”

Then I remembered the six swing thoughts.

And immediately hit my next shot into a tree.

I’ve decided I’m going to stop watching golf videos.

I’ve also decided I’m going to watch one tonight.

Just to see if there’s anything I’m missing.

Apparently my takeaway is all wrong!

🤔

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