- I don’t have anger issues. I have a handicap.
- My golf game is so bad even my lost balls don’t want to come back.
- I spent $700 on a driver to hit the same tree with greater confidence.
- Golf is the only sport where I can lose six balls and still blame the equipment.
- I don’t count my shots anymore. I just document the incident.
- My ball went so far right it has started a new life in another postcode.
- I told my partner I was buying one golf club. Technically, I bought one club six times.
- My handicap isn’t a number. It’s a warning label.
- I hit the ball so badly today Google Maps asked if I needed directions home.
- My swing is 100% natural. Unfortunately, so is my inability to improve it.
- I don’t need therapy. I need to hit one pure 7-iron in front of witnesses.
- I played 18 holes today and achieved absolutely nothing. I’m exhausted.
- My golf balls have a higher turnover rate than most small businesses.
- I bought expensive balls because apparently I enjoy watching money disappear into bushes.
- Every bad shot teaches you something. I’m now extremely well educated.
- My strategy is simple: swing hard, look confident and hope nobody asks for the score.
- I don’t fear water hazards. I fear the moment my ball starts heading toward one.
- My golf coach says I need to trust my swing. I don’t even trust my online banking.
- I have finally achieved consistency in golf. I am consistently terrible.
- If golf was easy, I’d have found another expensive way to ruin my weekend.
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