Golf Confessions

#34 The Golf Channel Expert

I watched three hours of golf on TV.

I now understand exactly what the professionals are doing.

I remain completely unable to do any of it.

---

#35 The Search

I lost my ball in the rough.

I searched for 10 minutes.

Couldn’t find it.

My playing partner found it immediately.

He then asked:

“Were you looking for this one?”

He was holding a different ball.

---

#36 The Expensive Fix

My driver wasn’t working.

So I bought a new one.

My driver still isn’t working.

I’ve now realised the driver was never the problem.

I’m choosing not to investigate further.

---

#37 The Mulligan

I hit the worst drive I’ve ever hit.

My mate said:

“Take a mulligan.”

I declined.

Because apparently integrity is more important than happiness.

---

#38 The Handicap Calculator

I checked my handicap after a good round.

Twice.

Then again the next morning.

Then told everyone my handicap had dropped.

Nobody asked.

I told them anyway.

---

#39 The Birdie

I made a birdie.

I immediately started calculating what score I could shoot.

Four holes later I made a triple bogey.

The maths department has been shut down.

---

#40 The Expensive Lesson

My golf pro told me:

“Stop trying to hit the ball so hard.”

I nodded thoughtfully.

Paid $90.

Went straight to the first tee.

Absolutely fucking murdered it

---

#41 The Weather App

Rain was forecast all day.

I cancelled golf.

It didn’t rain.

I have not emotionally recovered.

---

#42 The Honest Golfer

My golf game has reached a new level of honesty.

I no longer say:

“I nearly made par.”

I say:

“I fucked that hole up in several interesting ways.”

---

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

---

Gear I Bought Out of Desperation

---